The last thing on your mind when tying the knot at your wedding is getting a divorce, yet many marriages unfortunately end up going down this road.
As many people are worried that simply having a divorce may mean a long and expensive court battle, it’s understandable that the first thing they utter about the subject is that they “don’t want it to end up in court”.
However, the reality is that the messy divorces that people think of are a rarity. If you are still concerned about things turning sour and costing lots of money, follow these tips to avoid a messy divorce.
1. Avoid Making Comparisons With Other Divorces
You may have had friends that have divorced and they got to keep their house and were awarded generous amounts of child support or maintenance from their ex.
That doesn’t necessarily mean you will have the same results, so it’s important not to make comparisons with other divorces, because everyone’s financial situations are different.
Rather listen to your lawyer so that you can understand the realistic outcomes.
2. If Possible, Take a Collaborative Approach
People often get on the offensive when divorce enters the mix, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Especially if children are involved. If at all possible, it is best to try and work together to resolve disputes. Work out boundaries and agreements that work for both parties.
When you split amicably and take a collaborative approach to divorce, you reduce the cost and time and make things less unpleasant all round.
3. Research All the Options Open to You
Many people see court as inevitable, when really it should be considered as the final option, when all others don’t work.
Many people don’t know that there are cheaper, less drawn out ways of getting divorced.
You can do it yourself if you feel confident or reach out to a managed online divorce service like Amicable.
When you get legal advice, make sure they outline all the options help you to find the solution that’s best for you.
4. Rely on the Support of Friends and Relatives or Even a Counsellor
Divorce is never an easy thing to go through, even if you feel justified. Therefore, the right kind of support, whether it’s from friends or relatives or a counsellor, can help.
Not only can this help you to handle and cope with the flurry of emotions you will experience and get you ready for the future, it can also help to have a listening ear and sounding board so you can put your experience and everything that’s happening into context.
The intense emotions that can be experienced during divorce could involve feelings of anxiety or even depression. Learn more about depression here.
5. Leave the Children Out of It
Although, if you have children, it can be hard to not bring them into it, keep them out of it as much as you can.
Think about how you would want to be treated if you were in their position. Don’t use them as tools to get your own way or let them get caught in the crossfire.
That is a surefire way to add flames to the fire. Agree on terms related to your children separately from everything else, if that is possible and discuss the separation with them and answer their questions honestly and as openly as possible.
6. Be Wary of Posting on Social Media
You need to be cautious when posting anything about divorce on social media platforms. It may be that one half of the relationship moves on easier and starts a new relationship.
It’s best to avoid looking at your ex’s posts and if you are the one moving on, being sympathetic to their feelings.
You also need to avoid making or being taken in by any confrontational or angry comments as this will only make things worse.