Back in the day, sex education was one of the topics that parents shied away from. However, times have changed, and some families are making it a norm to educate their kids about sex once they hit adolescence. Also, some states, such as California, Texas, and Oregon, have incorporated sex education into their curriculum.
The information you gain through sex education will benefit you throughout your life. For instance, sex education teaches you how to make informed sexual decisions, maintain healthy relationships, and appreciate yourself as you are. However, when you get married, you need more information than primary sex education. For instance, you may want to spice things up with your sexual partner. As newlyweds, one way you can do so is by trying out kink ideas for beginners.
For beginners, there are various ways you can learn about kink. You can have sex talks with your friends, seek the services of an expert, or do research. For example, if you’re into bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission (BDSM), content materials from Escape Vanilla will come in handy.
Aside from BDSM, there are numerous types of kinks. That being said, this article will define kink and explain what beginners need to know about kink. Continue reading to find out more information.
What Is Kink
Before diving into how you can incorporate kink ideas in your marriage, it’s essential that you first define what it is. Unlike what many people think, kinky is more than BDSM. Any sexual activity that’s out of the ordinary, including group sex, role-playing, fetishes, voyeurism, and many more, can be considered kinky.
Being kinky can have some benefits in your relationship. For instance:
- It increases trust between the two of you by giving each other power and depending on one another in vulnerability hence forming a solid foundation for trust.
- It relieves stress since it lowers neuroticism levels as well as anxiety.
- It makes your sex life exciting and happier as there’s joy in trying new things and enjoying them. This doesn’t benefit newlyweds only but also couples that have been married for a long time. For sure, you and your partner will both agree that ‘normal’ activity can get boring.
Now that you know what kink is and how it can benefit your marriage, here’s a step-to-step guide on kink for beginners.
1. Be Open And Communicate Your Kink Desires
Kink for beginners can be difficult to enjoy if you’re not open with your partner about the things you prefer and those you don’t. There are various activities you can explore. Below is an explanation of what these activities involve:
- BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. It involves choking, spanking and pain play.
- Group sex pertains to having sex with more than one person. You can choose to engage in threesomes, foursomes, or sex with more than four people.
- Role-playing is the act of imagining and acting out scenarios. For instance, you can wear costumes and pretend to be a doctor and your partner a patient. The two of you can then have sex under that context while maintaining character.
- Fetishes involve sexualizing non-sexual objects or body parts. Some of the most common fetishes include feet, rubber, and latex.
- Voyeurism involves watching other people undress and have sex without their knowledge.
- Exhibitionism is when you and your partner agree to have sex in public places.
You don’t have to indulge in all of these activities. You can learn more about them and discuss with your partners which ones you both prefer trying.
2. Seek Consent
Marriage doesn’t guarantee you’ll always agree on everything, as you may have different interests and preferences. For instance, if you force your partner into having sex with you, you may be accused of rape in marriage. Also, if your partner agrees, don’t try anything they aren’t comfortable with because this can be considered sexual abuse or harassment. As a result, you may risk facing imprisonment or being fined. Therefore, before you do anything, ensure that both of you are on the same page, which in this case means being sexually explorative.
3. Have Safe Words
Your actions may sometimes not directly communicate what you’re trying to say. For instance, as newlyweds, you may not know each other intimately enough to the point that you can’t be sure what their actions mean. In most cases, men assume that women’s resistance doesn’t always imply no. Instead, it may be perceived as a sexual fantasy.
To avoid such instances, you can devise safe words to use to imply various things during kink for beginners. For example, you can utilize words like and dislike where like means continue and dislike means stop. As a result, you’ll avoid any misunderstanding in your sexual life.
4. Set The Right Mood
Your mood is one aspect that affects the quality of your sexual experience. You mentally, emotionally, and physically prepare when you’re in the right mood. As newlyweds attempting kink for the first time, you can immediately set a sexualized mood by:
- Arranging roses on the bed and floor
- Lit up candles
- Have sex swings and chairs if you consider BDSM
- Have dim lights
- Hang string lights
- If you’re a female, put on some nice lingerie
- Spread satin bed sheets
- Watch a sexy movie
5. Practice Aftercare
Kink for beginners may drain your energy as you still haven’t gotten used to everything. This may result in sleeping after you’re done. However, adding aftercare to your routine is essential as it increases intimacy, raises oxytocin, and strengthens your bond. Aftercare entails comforting, showing love, and ensuring your partner is okay. You can do this by cuddling, snacking while chatting, or simply resting in bed.
Misconceptions About Kink
Being kinky is not discussed as much; when it is, it’s done in undertones. This is because people have been led to think being kinky is bad. It’s not. Due to the lack of proper information regarding kinky matters, several misconceptions can be misleading, especially for beginners. Here are some of the misconceptions versus the truth:
- Trying to be kinky should be a man’s idea. Some kinky activities are preferred more by one gender. For instance, a fetish is more of a men’s thing, while painful pleasure is for women.
- Activities like BDSM are more of abuse and violence. As mentioned earlier, you should get kinky after getting your partner’s consent and only get to levels they’re comfortable with. This will ensure both of you are on the same page.
- You need fancy equipment to try kink for beginners. Not all kinky activities need equipment. For instance, role-playing requires you to act only. Also, choking and spanking doesn’t need any fancy equipment.
Summing It Up!
Sex education is essential as you grow up as it teaches you how to have healthy relationships, make informed sexual decisions, and love yourself before anyone else. However, when you get married, you need more than this information. You need to figure out how you can spice up your sex life to avoid boredom. You can do so by trying kinky activities with your partner. This article provides adequate information to better grasp what kink for beginners is and how to go about it.